relationships to move forward and upward, you must have fierce Talking with someone on the telephone, do you scan your e-mail? And can you tell when someone else is "While someone is talking, where are your The way we ask, the way we listen….by really asking and really Known and, being known, to be loved." (91) "Only when we genuinely see the people who are important to usĬan we hope to succeed as agents for positive change." "We must transform the way we speak, The most potent first step for me? What will get in the way and how will I get around it.
#Fierce conversations principles series#
(84)ĭrill down through a series of questions: (87 ff) The person and a sentence or two about the topic. List the fierce conversations you need to have "Annie Dillard wrote, 'How we spend our days Truth, we find ourselves chucking the truth over the fence or tucking itīehind the drapes in exchange for a trinket of approval." (710
"While the desire to please is not a flaw,Īt crucial crossroads we sometimes go too far. "As a leader, you get what youīehavior unless it is rewarded." "Have you communicated clearly not only the results but also theĭetermined by the quality of the questions we ask-and the quality of ourīehind Yourself into the Conversation and Make It Real Need to successfully deliver our product or service. Recovery from incompetence." Every organization must ask whether we have the talented people we We must determine whether our assumptions match Official truth is officially circulated but the ground truth is expressedĪround the water cooler and the parking lot. Ground truth is a military term that refers to what isĪctually happening on the ground as opposed to the official battle Topic by asking a series of questions to accomplish four purposes: Reality by mining for increased clarity, improved understanding, and impetus To drill one hundred-foot well than one hundred one-foot wells." A conversation of this nature interrogates "If you're drilling for water, it's better "Real thinking occurs only whenĮveryone is engaged in exploring differing viewpoints." (27) You get everyone's input and resist the temptation to defend your idea. Identify the issue on the table and your proposed solution. Goals in a fierce conversation is to get everyone's reality out on the table, Marriages derail because people don't say what they are really In your best efforts…unless reality is regularly and thoroughly "You will find yourself continually thwarted
Things change." (13) "The world will not be managed." A way ofĪn irritating habit of shifting…. Incredibly expensive for organizations and for individuals." (7)Ĭourage, clear requests, and taking action. Relationships, flat-lines them, or takes them down." (7)įierce conversation is one in which we come out from behind ourselves into Our conversations-it's a slow and deadly slide." (6)Ĭoworkers, customers, significant others, and children either enhances those
We talk about, and, most important, what degree of authenticity we bring to Possibilities for the individuals in the relationship becomeĪt work or at home if we lower the standards about how often we talk, what Possibilities for the relationship become smaller and all of the Yielding disappointing results, I'd be willing to bet you're getting similar
Things aren't going well for us-what comes out of us? Whatever's inside us." "So if your conversations at work are Why? Because that's what's inside it." "When we get squeezed- when "When you squeeze an orange, what comes out of it? Orange juice. We must discard the idea that our home and officeĬonversations are quite different. Our lives succeed or fail one conversation at a Susan Scott is an internationally recognizedīook will help you gain the insight and skills to make every conversationĬhange the world-one conversation at a time. Success at Work & in Life, One Conversation at a Time
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